Couples therapy provides an opportunity for you and your partner to meet with a therapist and explore difficulties within your relationship together. Relationships can become strained for many different reasons, including changes in circumstances, problems with communication, differences in emotional or physical intimacy, conflict, loss of trust or pressures elsewhere in life.
Whatever has brought you to couples therapy, having a supportive and impartial space to talk can help both partners better understand what is happening within the relationship and consider how they would like to move forward.
What is couples therapy?
Couples therapy is a form of therapy in which both partners meet with a therapist to discuss difficulties they are experiencing within their relationship. Rather than focusing on one person as the source of the problem, therapy provides a space to think about the relationship itself, the experiences of both partners and the patterns that may have developed between them.
The therapist can help each partner communicate their thoughts and feelings and develop a greater understanding of both their own needs and those of their partner.
What are relationship difficulties?
Relationship difficulties can take many forms. Some people long for greater closeness but experience their partner as distant or unavailable. For others, a relationship can begin to feel too close or demanding, leaving insufficient space for their own needs and independence.
Couples may previously have enjoyed a close and loving relationship before a change, crisis or difficult period places it under strain. Communication and intimacy can begin to break down and both partners may struggle to find their way back to the relationship they once had. Whatever their origins, persistent relationship difficulties can have a profound effect on both partners and on other areas of their lives.
How can relationship difficulties affect us?
Close relationships play an important part in our emotional wellbeing. When a relationship feels secure and supportive, it can provide companionship, reassurance and a sense of connection. When it becomes characterised by conflict, criticism, mistrust or emotional distance, both partners can be significantly affected.
Relationship problems can contribute to anxiety, reduced self-esteem, anger, loneliness and difficulties within family life. The stress can also extend beyond the relationship itself, affecting work, friendships and our general sense of wellbeing.
When can it be helpful to see a couples therapist?
Most couples experience difficulties at some point. Life brings pressures and changes, and our closest relationships can often bear the impact of the stresses we experience. Disagreement itself does not necessarily mean that a relationship is unhealthy, and some degree of conflict is a normal part of being a couple.
Therapy may become particularly helpful when communication repeatedly breaks down, the same conflicts occur without resolution, trust or intimacy has been affected, or the ways you have previously used to resolve difficulties no longer seem to work. Seeking help does not require a relationship to have reached a crisis point.
What happens in couples counselling?
The first step is usually an initial meeting with a couples therapist. During this meeting, the therapist will ask about the difficulties you are experiencing, how long they have been present and what each partner hopes to achieve through therapy.
The initial meeting also gives both of you an opportunity to consider whether you feel comfortable working with the therapist. Together, you can begin to think about the difficulties within your relationship and how therapy might best support you.
How can couples therapy help?
Couples therapy can help partners understand the patterns that have developed within their relationship and the thoughts, feelings and experiences that may be contributing to them. Having an impartial therapist present can make it easier to discuss subjects that have become difficult to approach without conflict, withdrawal or misunderstanding.
The aim is not to take sides or decide who is right or wrong. Instead, therapy provides a supportive environment in which both partners can be heard, develop a greater understanding of one another and consider what changes may help them move forward.
Relationship difficulties may be associated with:
- Communication difficulties
- Loss of intimacy or emotional closeness
- Recurring arguments and conflict
- Affairs and betrayals
- Loss of trust
- Anxiety
- Low self-esteem
- Anger
- Family difficulties
- Work and financial pressures
- Feelings of isolation and loneliness
- Major life changes